Satire

Put Away Your Racist Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches

Racist Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwichby Chris Banescu –
My fellow Americans, the “subtle language of racism” you’ve been hiding inside your peanut butter and jelly sandwiches has been exposed. Your biased and ethnocentric eating habits are oppressing minorities. The very mention of the words “peanut butter and jelly sandwich” connote “white privilege.” Such intolerant and racist behavior will not be tolerated. Shame on you!

The Portland Tribune reports that Verenice Gutierrez, principal of Harvey Scott K-8 School in Portland, has discovered this racist travesty destroying the very fabric of our society. The “seemingly innocent” peanut butter and jelly sandwich is a cleverly disguised capitalist tool used to promote racism.

Verenice Gutierrez picks up on the subtle language of racism every day.

Take the peanut butter sandwich, a seemingly innocent example a teacher used in a lesson last school year.

“What about Somali or Hispanic students, who might not eat sandwiches?” says Gutierrez, principal at Harvey Scott K-8 School, a diverse school of 500 students in Northeast Portland’s Cully neighborhood. [Read more…]

Seattle Officials: Word ‘Cross’ Too Offensive for Use

Seattle Officials: Word Cross Too Offensive for Useby Chris Banescu –
All government employees in the city of Seattle have been informed that the word “cross” and the letters “T” and ‘t’, universal symbols for a Christian cross, are patently offensive and are banned from use in all official documents and communications. Encouraged by the enthusiastic support from liberal, progressive, and leftist organizations for originally banning the words “citizen” (offensive since many people are residents, not citizens) and “brown bag” (offensive to people of brown skin), Seattle’s Office of Civil Rights is expanding the list of banned discriminatory and hateful language.

As reported earlier by KOMO-TV, FoxNews, and other media organizations, city workers in Seattle were previously “advised that the terms “citizen” and “brown bag” are potentially offensive and may no longer be used in official documents and discussions.” This did not concern Elliott Bronstein official spokesman for the city’s Office of Civil Rights. “Luckily, we’ve got options,” Bronstein wrote in a memo obtained by KOMO-TV. “For ‘citizens,’ how about ‘residents?’” According to that same memo, city employees should use the terms “lunch-and-learn” or “sack lunch” instead of “brown bag.”

The Voice Blog has obtained copies of the latest memos expanding the city’s policies prohibiting the usage of offensive language in all government functions. Here are the official press releases from Seattle’s Office for Civil Rights, with additional Memos included. [Read more…]